Secrets
by bethanybabes
Summary: Rachel Earl is a thirty year old woman who finally has it all, she owns her own cafe and has finally accepted herself for who she really is. Thing is, she's happy. But what happens when the wind blows open the door to the past and he walks right in. How will her life change? She's got to remember that she's not an eighteen year old anymore, things are different now.
1. Prologue

Prologue

 _The wind had changed everything. It had changed her life and in that brief moment as the door banged heavily against the wall, she knew that nothing would stay the same. The wind blew the cobwebs that had decorated her life without her even realising… It opened her eyes to something new; life._

" _Hi"_

Opening up had always been Rae's problem. She was happy to be alone, she enjoyed it. She could read her books, follow her patterns, listen to music, stick to her schedules. There was no doubt within her that she'd taken the wrong path, she was happy, things were stable and she didn't need anybody to complete her. It had taken her a long time to get to this state of mind, one unhealthy relationship after another proving to her that she only needed herself.

No, Rae certainly didn't regret her life. She'd set up her own little café named Champagne Supernova. The lettering on the sign that hung above the bay windows swirled and the capital letters were bigger in size then the others. She loved her little café. It was all hers and nobody could take it away.

The door blew open one windy November afternoon, the bell above it tinkering signalling that somebody had entered her haven. Putting down the dirty cups that she had been collecting, she wiped her hands quickly on her apron before turning around.

"How can I he-," she stopped mid-sentence.

The wind changed everything that day. It came in and blew her world into smithereens. Her 30 year old mind disappeared and she was back to her 18 year old self again.

Those brown eyes…. She'd never forgotten them, they haunted her dreams every single night.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Finn," the name left her lips breathlessly.

"Long time no see."


	2. Part One

Part One 

Rae loved her café. It was her haven, something that she'd always secretly wanted but never actually thought she'd ever do. Yet, another relationship ending with yet another prick coinciding with an unexpected redundancy package from her boring office job made her jump up and take the chance.

"It should have flowery tea cups and floral curtains and gorgeous white tiles!" Izzy had gushed when Rae had told her friends about her plan.

"No," Rae had replied firmly, "It won't be a girly café."

She'd remained true to her word; 'Champagne Supernova' had been born, and the swirly lettered logo hung proudly above the café door. The walls inside were a light charcoal grey and the feature wall at the back was black with white horizontal thin strips heading down it. Her favourite thing about the café was the wooden shelves that lined the wall next to the door. As the door opened, tinkling and signalling that somebody had arrived, nine times out of ten she would turn around to find them staring with interest at the lines of records that filled them, all filed under the correct genre of music.

"No crap reggae" she had whispered to herself as she had stared at them for the first time.

There was a 1990s juke box hiding away in the corner, it was one that had been gathering dust outside an old pub and she'd repurposed it for her café. Chop had even managed to get it working and before long the café was filled with Oasis, Blur and The Smiths all day. The tables were black as well, but the chairs were scattered around them were old armchairs that she'd found here, there and everywhere. She'd got them re-lined in rich purples, reds and greens; bold colours that made a statement.

Rae loved her café. It had been everything she had wanted and more. She was finally happy in life, _finally._

But when the bell had rung that evening, drawing her attention to the visitor, everything changed. She was no longer the 30 year old woman she was proud of but instead was drawn back into the mind of that 18 year old girl she had tried to forget.

Those brown eyes…. She'd never forgotten them, they haunted her dreams every single night.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Finn," the name left her lips breathlessly.

"Long time no see."

"What are you doing here?" She asked, her heart beating ferociously in her chest.

"Came to see if you had any reggae." He replied, turning sideways to face the shelfs and fiddling absentmindedly with one of the cardboard covers.

"It's been twelve years." She whispered.

"As I said, long time no see."

"And whose fault is that?" Rae asked, fury returning to her as she stared at the back of his brown hair.

Once, his hair gathered in around his face framing his oh-so-perfect face and highlighting his oh-so-perfect eyes, but now it was cropped short; short on the sides and slightly longer on top.

He turned round as sharp as her words, eyes sparkling with teasing.

"You're the one who left." He replied curtly.

"I came back!" She yelled, "I came back and everyone welcomed me with open arms but _you_ never turned up. _You_ hadn't spoken to the gang in months and haven't since then! Where did you go? Why did you go? I always thought that I would come back from Uni and we'd give it another shot… we spent months writing to each other, rebuilding what we'd destroyed and then you just fucked off! Where did you go Finn?"

"I had my reason alright!" He yelled back, shoving his hands back into his jean pockets; a habit he clearly hadn't lost from his teenage years.

"Yeah and now I have my reasons for asking you to leave _my_ café." She replied.

He stared at her for a moment and Rae wondered what was going through his mind. Slowly, he opened his mouth as if he was going to say something and shut it again. Running his fingers through his hair, his pullover rose to show a bit of a tanned, slightly hairier and slightly more toned stomach. Rae let her eyes drift there before snapping them back up to his face again.

"Leave." She whimpered, her voice betraying her as she'd hoped it'd sound forceful.

"Alright," he said, turning around and heading out the door.

Rae let out a sigh of relief, her hand holding her stomach in reassurance.

Before Finn could let the door close on him, he turned back around and looked Rae in the eyes. "See you around," he promised and disappeared into the darkness of the night.


	3. Part Two

Part Two

Rae didn't care for the past, nor did she think about it that much but she spent that night in her bed, willing herself to sleep and watching her clock tick closer to her 5.30am alarm. She couldn't remember why they had broken up; well, that was a lie… She could but she had always hoped that it wasn't the end of them. She hadn't ended things because she hadn't loved him but because she realised that she didn't love herself… Not even a little bit.

University had been good for her, being in a different city had meant she'd opened her eyes to a world outside Stanford, to politics outside her lower class background, to friends outside her friendship group and, in particular, a body positive feminist friend who reminded her that it was ok to love herself. So she tried and some days she failed but it had become easier over time.

"You look tired." Chloe said as she came in at her regular time of 7.30 am for her regular cup of coffee before work.

Rae handed over her latte, their morning routine meant it was always steaming and inside a disposable cup ready for her best friend to zoom off to her 8.00 am meeting. The disposable cups had been designed by Izzy, having discovered a love for graphic design while studying a degree in fashion. It had never been her plan but it turned out to be the best thing she could possibly have done. Now Izzy worked freelance under "Izzy's designs" while looking after her four boisterous boys; Arthur Jnr (AJ), Leon, Timothy and Sven. Chop and Izzy's name choices had always secretly puzzled Rae and Chloe.

"Didn't sleep." Rae replied, yawning wide as she yearned after her double bed.

"Tell me about it," Chloe chattered, taking a seat on one of the black bar stools that accompanied the end of the counter. "Billy's found this new fertility routine that's supposed to guarantee pregnancy if you have sex every two hours. Thank goodness he hasn't suggested work yet…" Her voice trailed off as her face turned pale at the thought of it.

Billy had come along unexpectedly for Chloe; a slightly cocky middle level manager at her company, he'd turned up with an air of arrogance that immediately drew Chloe to him. In return, he'd fancied a go at Chloe the minute he'd laid eyes on her. A typical jack the lad, Rae had thought it'd end in heartbreak but he'd pleasantly surprised her when he'd proposed to Chloe after eight months together. Five years into their marriage and they'd struggled to get pregnant and they'd both become consumed with getting 'up the duff' in any way possible. They were happy though, and that was all that mattered.

"Finn turned up yesterday." Rae stated in a matter-of-fact voice as she wiped up a saucer with a tea towel.

"What the fuck?!" Chloe said, shoving her cup down hard on the counter and spraying it slightly. "Long time no see, aye?"

"That's what he said…" Rae replied quietly.

"Really? After ALL this time."

"Twice." Rae confirmed.

They were interrupted mid-flow by the door banging open and a scattered-looking Izzy bounding in; a baby carrier in one hand and a tight grip on a ginger chubby toddler with the other. Her ginger ringlets were piled on-top of her head in a messy bun and there was a yellow stain on her blue and white striped dungarees which looked suspiciously like puke.

"Espresso, pronto." She ordered as she let go of Timothy's hand and dumped the baby carrier (securely) in the biggest armchair.

Timothy scuttled off towards the box of toys that Rae kept in the café and Izzy slumped into Chloe's neighbouring bar stool.

"Difficult morning?" Rae asked as she set the espresso in front of Izzy a couple of moments later.

"The _worst_." Izzy exclaimed, downing the espresso in one. "I was up four times through the night feeding Sven and then AJ was being a little git. Up and down, up and down, up and down. All those hard nights of establishing a routine for him and it's gone and been messed up by having another baby. I don't know why I let Chop get his way in getting another one."

"You were hoping for a girl." Chloe reminded her.

"Yeah and look where that got me!"

"But Sven's a sweetie." Rae smiled.

"Yeah he is… And he's no real bother I suppose…" Izzy smiled and relaxed a little before noticing that Timothy was no longer playing with the toys and was now poking his fingers into the baby carrier. "Timothy Archibald Peters! I swear to God if you hurt Sven, I'll put you on the naughty step!" She scolded him as she swooped over and grabbed Sven out of the carrier before returning to her seat.

"So…" Chloe looked back at Rae as she sensed Izzy's drama was over.

"Yeah, what have I missed?" Izzy asked as she fixed Sven onto her breast to feed him.

"Finn turned up last night." Rae relayed the information to her.

"Oh…" Izzy's voice was a little wary.

"Isn't that mad?" Chloe raged.

"You don't seem surprised." Rae narrowed her eyes at Izzy.

"Well if I'm being honest I'm not. Chop said he was back in town, saw him at the bank or summat but I didn't think he'd come here to you…" Izzy replied.

"Yeah I suppose." Rae frowned.

"What did he want?" Chloe asked, taking a sip of her latte.

"Dunno… Some shit about reggae in my collection." Rae said with a wave of her hand towards the records section.

"Little ears." Izzy reminded her, nodding her head towards Timothy who had proceeded to rip the head off one of the Barbies.

"Sorry." Rae grumbled.

"Typical Finn though!" Chloe exclaimed as she brought the subject back to the matter in hand. "What is he? Still eighteen?"

"No he's not… He's still the same old Finn but with shorter hair, a few wrinkles and a hairier and more toned stomach."

"Did he come in naked or something?!" Chloe snorted.

"No he… Never mind." Rae's voice drifted away.

"What else did he say?" Izzy asked, switching Sven to the other breast.

"Nothing much, I asked him to leave and then he did but told me he'd see me around before he went."

"Was that a threat or a promise?" Chloe asked.

"I'm not sure…" Rae mulled.

Chloe took a glance at the time on her iPhone before opening her eyes wide in shock, "is that really the time?" She asked rhetorically. "Must dash, got a meeting with walkers crisps"

And with a couple of air kisses to her friends, a stroke of Sven's cheek and ruffle of Timothy's hair, Chloe was gone.

"Do you want him to come back again?" Izzy asked as she began to burp Sven over her shoulder.

"I don't know." Rae replied, "I really don't know."


	4. Part Three

Part Three

The day passed by quickly, each of her friends had popped in as was standard for each day. Izzy had left around nine, ready to drop Timothy off at Nursery.

"A few hours with this little one!" She had squealed on her way out, making cooing faces at Sven in his baby carrier. Her face froze in hope as she looked back at Rae. "Maybe he'll spend it sleeping…"

Chop had popped in next, taking a break from a busy morning at the garage. Rae always liked it when Chop came in, no matter how rubbish her day was he would have her smiling by the time he left. Danny had come in at two, shortly before his shift as manager at the pub started up.

"I'll have a Tix please!" He grinned, as he did every time he came in.

Rae had put a steaming Hot Chocolate in front of him, topped with a pile of whipped cream, chocolate sprinkles and three flakes inserted into the side.

"It's because it's the fattiest drink on the menu, and it sounded better than 'Fatty'." Rae had smiled the first time she'd explained the drink's name, remembering the nickname for her friend.

Finally at 4pm, the door banged open and Rae was greeted with her other best friend; Archie was one of the history teachers at their old college. It was weird how they'd all migrated back to Stamford, nobody had ever stayed away long… everyone apart from Finn anyway.

"Was hoping you'd pop in today!" She grinned at him, tossing the tea towel over her shoulder and readjusting her hair into a tighter ponytail.

"I'm here every day at 4 o clock." He laughed. "You told me that it was pretty much a deal breaker of our friendship when you opened up the place."

"Yeah well," She smiled, sliding over two coffees.

Archie carried them over to the far corner of the room. Placing them onto the table, he got comfortable in the biggest armchair and waited as Rae turned the sign on the door from 'Open' to 'Closed'.

"Archie…" Rae had said after a couple of slurps of her own coffee.

They'd been sitting in silence for a couple of minutes, Archie enjoying the sound of silence as opposed to screaming and shouting teenagers and Rae appreciating the feeling of doing nothing.

"Rachel…"

"So…"

"Just come out with it." Archie ordered.

Rae sent him a cheeky grin, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

"I'm gay – that doesn't work with me. Just cut to the chase." He smirked.

"So, Finn came in yesterday." Rae said, watching his face for any kind of clue that he knew.

If anybody was to know, it would have been him. Finn wouldn't have turned up in Stamford without reaching out to his best friend first. While he may not have talked to Archie about the reasons why he'd left all those years ago, he hadn't abandoned him. Archie always received birthday presents, cards, letters and the odd phone call but Finn had never spoken about his life… or Rae or their friends. Just Archie.

Archie's face gave away nothing; it was blank.

"You knew!" Rae gasped.

"How did you guess?!" Archie groaned, "I tried so hard to keep my face neutral."

"HAH! I didn't but I do now."

"You suck." Archie grumbled, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Why didn't you tell me he was back? Y'know, give me some warning or summat." Rae said, her voice wobbling a little.

She wasn't sure if she was angry, upset or confused with Archie. Normally he'd tell her everything; when Finn had left, Rae had automatically become his leaning post but she knew that with Finn back, that would soon change. Rae had never quite matched up to Finn when it came to Archie.

"Boy code." Archie shrugged.

"I thought that only existed for girls…"

"Er, no."

Rae narrowed her eyes at her friend who was now deliberately avoiding her gaze, she decided to bring out the big guns. "Finn told me where you were when you stood me up…"

Archie's eyes snapped back up to her in astonishment, "Holy Fuck, Rae! That was nearly fifteen years ago!"

"Finn didn't stick to the boy code then…" Rae counteracted.

"Yeah well," Archie said as he stood up, "some things are bigger than standing a girl up when you were a _teenager_."

Rae gasped again, "YOU KNOW WHY HE'S BACK."

"Yes."

"Tell me."

"No."

"I swear to God Archie…" Rae warned him.

"Rae, I love you and you're my best friend but Finn… he's like my blood brother. You don't betray that bond. Yes I know why he left and why he's back but I can't tell you… that's the way it's going to be." Archie stated as he grabbed his bag.

"You've got his back over mine?" Rae cried.

"Yes."

"Thanks Archie – after all I've done for you!"

"And you know I love you for it, I'll see you tomorrow? Same time?" Archie asked.

"Don't bother." Rae grumbled, biting her lip.

"Is that the way it's going to be?" Archie asked, nervously fixing his glasses as he looked at Rae.

Rae couldn't voice any words but nodded.

"Fine." Archie replied, hoisting his bag onto his shoulder and leaving the café as quickly as he could.

Rae felt the space close in around her. She couldn't quite believe that their conversation had taken such a turning. She couldn't believe that he would let her down like that. They'd had years of living in each other's pockets and now that the crowning glory of Stamford was back, he'd dropped her like a hot potato.

"Twat." She raged as she flung herself around the café, cleaning up as quickly as she could.

She needed to get out of the café, run to the newsagents and purchase as much chocolate as she could carry before going home. It wasn't a binge, she told herself, it was comfort eating. She cleared up in record time and took a look around the café as she turned the lights out. She really didn't want to end up hating it, but Finn had brought back something with him that felt like it was infecting the place with poison.

Locking up, she shuddered as the cold air hit her face. She pulled her coat around her tighter, wrapping her scarf around her neck as a means of protection from the October air.

"Hi." She heard a voice behind her.

She spun around to face whoever it was but she knew, deep down, who it belonged to.

"Finn." She said again, this time harder and not as breathlessly.

"Was thinking we could go for a drink…" He said.

"Are you gonna tell me why you left?" She asked, as he moved towards her.

"No."

"Well then I don't think a drink is a good idea." Rae replied.

"You sure?" He asked, with a smirk on his face that made her heart pound inside her ribcage.

"Yes." She whispered, although she wasn't too sure herself.

"Come on Rae," he grinned.

He was towering over her now, she could smell him close to her. He smelt different to what she remembered, there was still a faint smell of cigarettes and but he wore a new aftershave of which she couldn't put her finger on what it was.

"Drink?" He asked again, gently.

"Ok." She whispered, her heart betraying her head.


	5. Part Four

Part Four

The pub that Finn had taken Rae to was not one she had expected. She'd half expected him to take her to _their_ pub but then she'd remembered that Chop and Archie would probably be there, not to mention Danny managing it. The minute she followed Finn in, pushing open the heavy wooden door she was hit in the face with the smell of slightly stale ale, cigarettes (the pub clearly not sticking to the smoking ban) and piss. Her nose wrinkled up as they made their way in, the stench only becoming stronger. It was a mostly wooden pub, dark wooden tables and stools, wooden sidepanels up the wall and uneven planks across the floor. As she looked around, she noticed that the pub was filled with old white men with long grey beards. They were staring at her as if she didn't belong there, that it was _their_ pub and no women were allowed.

"What do you want?" Finn asked, flashing his cheeky grin at her once again.

"Erm…" Rae's voice wavered.

"The usual?" Finn asked. "Snake-,"

"Erm no…" Rae interrupted. "I'm not eighteen anymore… I'll have rosé please."

"Oh… ok. Sure." Finn blushed slightly before turning his back on her towards the bar.

Rae made her way over to a spare table in the corner of the pub away from the eyes of the prying men who had mostly resumed their own conversations. As she sat down at the table, she grimaced as the stool slightly stuck to the back of her legs. She _hoped_ it was left over alcohol that was smeared over her jeans. The tables clearly hadn't been cleaned in forever and she prayed that they didn't serve food for fear of what the kitchen looked like.

"Alright m'dear!" Finn said as he carried over a pint for himself and a wine glass filled with a light red liquid.

It all seemed too surreal to be true; Rae almost had a flashback to twelve years before when he placed the glass on the table, spilling a bit on the surface.

He grinned apologetically to Rae. "Oops."

The atmosphere immediately turned awkward between them as they both stared at the floor, not really knowing what to say or where to start.

"So…" Finn said, breaking the silence.

Rae looked up sharply, "where have you been for ten years Finn?"

Dropping his gaze, Finn let a sharp exhale of breath leave his lips. "You really don't wait around…" He chuckled quietly.

"You can't just turn up here after ten years with no contact and expect everything to be the same again. Things aren't the same Finn, things have changed…" Rae paused as she watched his blank expression. "You don't even know _me_ anymore."

"I know Rae and I'm sorry, I am! But life happened and that's all I can say."

"Wow. Who knew life would make _you_ a dick… but then again, I suppose you did cheat on me." Rae hissed.

"Look Rae…" Finn started but Rae wouldn't let him continue.

"No Finn. You fuck off out my life for ten years after leading me on that we were gonna get back together again and then come back in my life with some shit excuse about fuckin' reggae!? How dare you!" Rae shouted, not caring that the whole pub was staring at her again.

"Rae, Rae – I'm sorry." Finn reached out and caught her hand.

There was a familiarity as his fingers enclosed over hers, as if the last ten years hadn't happened and they were back to being teenagers again. It was as if his fingers belonged there, that she was his and he was hers. They were a teenage dream once again, filled with sweet kisses and lingering gazes.

Except they weren't, ' _ten years have passed_ ' she reminded herself.

"So…" she whispered, pulling her hand away gently. "Tell me about your life, Wife? Kids?" She asked.

"No wife, no… it's a generic life really, nothing interesting." He replied, taking a drink of his beer and looking away elusively.

"So you're not seeing anyone?" She asked.

"No… are you?"

"No."

"Good." He let the corners of his lips turn upwards slightly in a small smile.

"Is it?" She asked.

"Aye, I think it is."

"Finn, you really can't just come in here and think everything is ok again y'know. You've missed so much and I really don't understand why you left in the first place!"

"Rae-," he spoke out but was quickly distracted by a loud ringtone from his jacket pocket.

Fishing out the phone, he quickly glanced at the caller before sending Rae an apologetic glance. "I'm really sorry, I have to take this…"

"No worries!" Rae smiled briefly at him as he rushed off to the other side of the bar.

She watched Finn as he spoke in hushed tones. He ran his fingers through the tips of his hair and her heart yearned for the past; for his long fringe that he would spend ages styling into the right way… not that he would have ever admitted to it. Now he had his short hair and while she would admit that it suited him; that it made his cheekbones stand out even more than she had originally thought possible… she still missed the old Finn. She didn't know this Finn, sure the cheeky twat that she'd once loved was still there but he had changed. Just like she had.

Downing the rest of her rosé, she noticed his pint was nearly empty. Gathering her bag, she made her way across to the bar. As she walked, she cringed as her feet stuck to the floorboards beneath her. It was strange how it wouldn't have bothered her when she was 18 but now that she was 30 it was a completely different story.

"Excuse me…" she called over to the barman.

He looked at her, clearly deciding whether or not to serve her, before turning his attention back to the old man who was apparently telling him the most interesting conversation he'd ever heard.

"For fucks…" her voice drifted off as her ears pricked up at the sound of Finn's voice.

As she glanced over, she noticed he was still on the phone looking more irate than he had done previously. His hair was out of place as he continued to run his fingers through it in frustration.

"Look, I know I'm sorry." _Pause._ "Of course." _Pause._ "Honey, of course." _Pause._ "Look, I'll call you before bed tonight okay sweetie? I love you…" _Pause._ "No, no. I'm just out with Archie."

Rae's heart was in her throat as she overheard him. She noticed the barman beginning to saunter his way over to her and she was faced with a decision. She could either stay and have it out with Finn, where he'd probably lie to her face all over again or she could go and never see him again.

"Fuck this." She said, walking straight towards the door and out into the cold air.


	6. Part Five

Part Five

The darkness drew in around Rae as she made her way towards the restaurant. Tugging her hands inside her coat's sleeves, she shivered as a strong gale of wind swirled in around her. A week had passed since her trip with Finn, she'd heard nothing and seen nothing from him which surprised but pleased her at the same time. She was still avoiding Archie, not impressed with his loyalty towards Finn rather than herself.

Walking into the restaurant, her body relaxed into the warmth that welcomed her. It was the monthly girl's meal that Izzy, Chloe and she had started shortly after Izzy had given birth to AJ; a time of the month where the girls could come without any kids, men or work worries and just have a laugh. They took it in turns to choose a cuisine and Chloe had chosen Italian this time around. Spotting Chloe and Izzy sitting at a small table in the corner, she made her way to join them.

"Hey!" Chloe grinned as Rae approached.

"Can I take your coat?" A waiter asked her and Rae gladly shred her coat, handing it to him before taking a seat.

"I took the liberty of ordering for you." Chloe smiled. "Seeing as you were late."

"You're always late…" Izzy giggled.

"I know, I know… It was a busy day at the café ok girls?" Rae smiled fondly at her friends. "What did I miss?"

"Well…" Izzy started and Rae's focus drifted away as Izzy began to talk about whatever the latest drama with the kids was.

Rae had found she'd become demotivated of late, finding it hard to concentrate on anything for too long. Her mind was elsewhere, it was with Finn. She kept replaying their trip to the pub over and over again in her head, wondering if she'd missed anything or misheard him in the first place. Clearly, he was married or had a partner or something… While she didn't want him back in her life, she felt an aching within her that needed to know everything. She had always wondered 'what if' and now he was back, a part of her felt it was her last chance to find out. She would never cheat with him but she needed to know why he'd left all those years ago… she needed to know what had changed to make him come back.

"… It's been really hard…"

Rae's attention snapped back to the girls as a waiter placed a bruschetta dish in front of her.

Chloe was a little tearful, trying to hold back the emotions and Rae suddenly felt a wave of guilt wash over her as she realised her best friend was opening up emotionally about her fertility problems; not something she did very often.

"… I was late for my period the other day, three days late and I got my hopes up even though I _knew_ I shouldn't have…" Chloe whispered, staring at her plate.

"Oh hun…." Izzy reached over and rubbed her friend's arm in an attempt to provide some comfort although Rae and Izzy both knew it wouldn't provide any.

Nothing could.

"Anyway," Chloe looked up after a prolonged moment of staring at her plate with a fixed smile on her face. "Rae, have you told Iz yet what happened with Finn?"

"Yeah, we caught up in the café last week." Rae smiled gently at her friend and a look lingered between Chloe and herself.

It was a look of understanding, a look they'd shared several times since they were young and only one that they could share. They had each other's backs through everything.

… _We accept that some birds are high flying birds and some are not, but that doesn't mean they can't fly together…_

"I can't believe he can be such an ass!" Izzy exclaimed as she speared a piece of ravioli with her fork.

Rae took a bite out of her own bruschetta and swallowed it quickly, "Does Chop know anything about Finn's reasons for going and coming back yet?" She asked.

"No! He doesn't and he's just as annoyed as we are." Izzy replied. "Especially at Archie for treating Finn bloody Nelson like the prodigal bloody son."

"I'm surprised Chop knows what the prodigal son is…" Rae giggled.

"He's decided that he wants to read bible stories to the kids at night for some reason. Summat about morals…"

"Speaking of Archie," Chloe spoke up, tossing her long blonde hair over her shoulder. "Rae, have you spoken to him yet?"

"So Izzy, what other new things is Chop trying out with the kids?" Rae ignored Chloe's question.

"Well he's talking about him giving the kids haircuts rather than going to the hairdressers, save some money or something." Izzy shrieked.

"Rae, stop avoiding the subject!" Chloe complained.

"That's hilarious!" Rae laughed, ignoring Chloe's comment.

"I know, I'm worried he'll do it tonight and I'll come back with one kid with a bowl cut… the other with a pair of scissors tangled in his hair!"

Rae laughed with her friend, but still very aware of Chloe's stare as it bore into her. She wasn't about to admit that she hadn't spoken to Archie since they'd argued in her café and she wasn't ready to be tackled about it so she kept quiet for the rest of the meal, avoiding the question whenever it arose.


	7. Part Six

Part Six 

'It's 9am and welcome to Radio London City…' the radio echoed around her flat as she made her way from her bedroom to the kitchen. It was Sunday morning; her one day off during the week and she was planning to make full use of it, starting with a cup of tea, a fry up and binge watching episodes of Made in Chelsea (a guilty pleasure).

The doorbell rang and Rae groaned.

"It's 9am!" She pleaded to nobody.

Glancing down, she was still in her pyjamas with her hand hovering over the kettle switch ready to set it to boil. The doorbell rang again, clearly somebody was anxious to be let in.

"ONE MINUTE." She yelled, even though she knew that whoever it was wouldn't be able to hear her.

Rae lived in a top floor flat in a row of terraced houses. It was an old Victorian building, painted white on the outside although it had seen better days with flecks peeling off from the wind. Inside she'd decorated it all herself, the kitchen had chrome cabinets and a big silver fridge and the floor was a black tile while the walls were white. The living room had a deep red feature wall with plush, black leather sofas and a 42 inch smart tv. Rae loved her flat almost as much as she loved her café. It was somewhere that she'd created for herself without anybody else chiming in or telling her how she should make herself happy.

Grabbing her purple dressing gown from behind her bedroom door, she thought back to her old toothpaste tube gown from when she was a teenager. She'd thrown it away when she'd reached university after she heard some girls sniggering about it in the halls of residence, part of her still regretted that decision.

Tying it tight around the middle of her torso, she opened her the door to the flat and let her feet pound down the stairs to the lobby area. She threw open the building's front door and was confronted by Archie, with an "I'm Sorry" balloon.

She shoved the door closed but he stuck his foot in the way, forcing his way in.

"Rae…" He said.

Rae glared at him but turned around, leading the way up the stairs back to her flat.

"Shall I make us a cuppa?" Archie asked as Rae landed on the coach, still glaring at him. "I'll make us a cuppa."

He let go of the balloon, watching as it drifted up towards the ceiling.

"Archie. Cut to it." Rae ordered, voice clipped.

"Ok…" Archie sat down on the sofa opposite from her, running one hand nervously through his floppy hair and his other hand fiddled with the frame of his glasses.

"I'm sorry for how things ended." He said.

"So you admit you were in the wrong?"

"For storming out on you, yes."

"What about for not telling me anything about Finn?" Rae asked again.

Archie hesitated a second before standing up and beginning to pace the room. "Here's the thing, I still think that... well, I think that… Rae, well. Erm."

"Archie…"Rae warned him.

"I still think I was in the right for not telling you."

Rae felt tears rush to her eyes out of frustration. "Right, well then I think you should leave… _again_."

"Rae, we can't keep doing this, we're not teenagers anymore!" Archie said, sitting next to her cautiously.

Rae let a tear slide down her cheek, "But you don't get what this is doing to me. You're oh-so-worried about Finn but what about me? I came back from Uni expecting to be getting back with my dream guy. The guy who I never _really_ fell out of love with. He's the reason why I got back with he-who-shall-not-be-named you know? All progress I made at Uni was destroyed because he wasn't there and I'm not proud of that."

"I know, Rae! I know but you're so different now and what happened with you-know-who only made you to be who you are today and that person's pretty special."

Rae inched away from Archie, her eyes hurting. "Yeah but that's the point, with Finn back I'm not that girl… I'm the same 18 year old that was in love with him, hurting when he cheated on me. I'm still that 21 year old who did stupid things when she found out he'd disappeared… and now he's back and I just want to know _why_."

"I think you should speak to Finn." Archie replied.

"I did Archie, he took me out and then I heard him on the phone to some girl when he'd told me moments before that there wasn't anybody."

Archie faltered and Rae stared at her feet, exhausted from all of her emotions that been accumulating for weeks. Everything that had been leading up to that moment suddenly felt heavy on her shoulders and she found herself weak, unable to say anything else.

She felt an arm drape itself around her and she leaned into the familiar embrace of her old friend.

"Sorry for arguing with you." She whispered into his chest.

"Sorry for letting it go on this long…" Archie replied, breathing into her hair as he placed a single kiss on the top of her head. "Just do me a favour?"

"Yeah?" Rae asked, peering up at him.

"Give Finn one more chance, if he cocks it up again then I'll have your back one hundred percent."


	8. Part Seven

Part Seven

The café had been unusually quiet for a Saturday afternoon. Normally all the tables would be taken and she'd have a steady line at the counter full of customers waiting to be served. Saturdays usually flew past but that afternoon had resulted in only a couple of tables being filled with families and an old man reading a newspaper at the counter. It was match day and they were always normally quiet with the football grounds right round the corner.

There was a tinkle from the bell and Rae turned around to serve her customer. It was a young girl, about 10 years old and Rae frowned as she looked at her.

"What are you doing young lady?" She asked. "Where's your Mummy or Daddy?"

"I'm nine _not_ five. My mums in the car and wants me to come and get cake." She shoved out her hand in which held a crisp five pound note clutched tightly between her fingers.

"Ok… What would you like?"

The little girl took some time as she looked over the cupcakes sitting proudly in the glass display cabinet. She pointed at the two cupcakes she'd decided on and Rae popped them into a cupcake box, smiling at the little girl as she handed them over.

"There you go sweetie! Hope you enjoy them." She said.

The girl threw Rae a cold look, her brown eyes giving Rae an uneasy feeling in her stomach and charged out of the café. Rae watched the girl as she darted across the road without giving a single glance at the oncoming traffic, making Rae's heart jump into her throat. The girl hopped into a car which had a blonde lady at the wheel, a pair of large black sunglasses propped on the tip of her nose which seemed unnecessary for a late October afternoon. They sped off, almost leaving dust in their place.

Rae's attention was soon distracted by the door being thrown open and a frantic Izzy running in with a screaming baby in her arms.

"Rae! Thank _fudge_ you're here!" Izzy squealed, her eyes alive with panic.

"You ok?" Rae asked, coming out from behind the counter.

"No - there's been an accident with Chop and he's in the hospital… I need to go… The boys are with his parents for the day but I can't take Sven… Will you look after him?" Izzy asked.

She didn't wait for answer.

"Thanks hun, I'm just so worried." She shoved Sven into Rae's arms and handed her a bag of which Rae presumed held all of the baby's things.

With that Izzy fled the café, her ginger hair flowing behind her. Rae stared at the boy in her arms and Sven stared back at her. His ginger hair was starting to twist into curls and he had Chop's strong nose. His big blue eyes watched Rae very carefully before filling with tears and opening his mouth to start another screaming fit.

"Hush, hush." Rae pleaded, rocking him on her hip.

Twenty five minutes passed but it felt like three hours; the café had emptied quickly with the families passing Rae sympathetic smiles as they made their way out.

"UGH. Why won't you just shut up?" Rae moaned at Sven as he continued to cry in her arms.

Sven was nothing like her sister had been when she'd been born; for a while Rae had been the only person who'd been able to settle her sister, her mum often giving up and shoving the baby in with her at night time. Rae had tried everything with Sven but she was at the end of her wits.

"God, if you send me help right now I PROMISE I will go to church once." Rae bargained with a God she didn't believe in.

The door tinkled and Rae spun round, her eyes narrowing as Finn's frame filled the doorway.

"Deals off." She grumbled.

"Y'alright?" Finn asked.

Rae watched him suspiciously. He seemed less sure of himself this time, like he knew that he was skating on thin ice. He bit his lip as he smiled awkwardly. Sven had turned oddly quiet as he stared at the newcomer; it was short-lived and the café was soon filled with the the sound of wailing again.

"Oh no!" Finn's face fell as Sven cried his heart out.

Rushing forward, Rae almost forgot everything as he took Sven into his arms and did some weird rocking thing, immediately making Sven fall silently in awe at the man who'd known _the_ secret way to make him stop.

"How did you do that?!" Rae exclaimed, equally as in awe as Sven.

Finn shrugged, "I've had practice."

"What do you mean by that?" Rae asked and Finn looked at her with doubt in his eyes.

"Finn. _Why_ are you back?! What's going on?" Rae raised her voice.

"Ok…" Finn whispered, not looking at her but staring at Sven who was falling asleep in his arms. "…I'll tell you."


End file.
